$$$$$$

My standards for a marriage partner have drastically changed. I don’t care about sex appeal, family background, being personable etc. The B said this shows I’m ready to get married. Since no one wants to pay me a lac or so I just want a rich man who can fund my PhD. (Which Minchka said is not suiting to my personality- since I am more of a flitter than anything else). Everytime some engaged fraintaince (between friend and acquaintaince) waves her rock at me, all I can curdle and think is “She’s wearing my graduate education on her finger”. And my eyes go Ka-chingg!So even optimistically I'm looking at someone 30+.F said his khala gets rishtas done "Fisabillila" (lol.I don't know why I find the term so funny in connection with marriage but I do) and he will ask her.

It a truth universally known that a man with a car will hate asking for directions. Especially if he gets lost in his own residential area. F is such a kook and a half. First of all, he drives his car like he’s wearing it, which means for every left turn he PHYSICALLY himself moves to the left as well. If he accelerates the car, he presses up against the steering as if manually pushing it. It’s a fascinating pantomime to watch. And he makes you argue with him about directions like an old married couple.

“Isn’t this PAF market?”
“I know where I’m going. This street will lead there”
“This is a bit off Munchie’s house. Definitely”
“No it’s near it. Munchie said this is where that old Movie Walay Uncle live who everyone fights with”
“Maybe Munchie sleeps with him to get all the seasons fusst, before everyone. And maybe you don’t know the way in your own area”
“Don’t distract me with your pukh-pukh”

*drive drive*

Me: “Are you trying to kidnap me?”
“Yes. It’s a particular fantasy of mine”
“You’re very bad at it.”

*drive drive*

“I think we should turn left from here”
“Whatever. We’re going straight”

*drive drive into crowded street with tullahs cordoning off the area at one end and buffaloes and cows moored at the other side of the street*

Me: “Yeh to Saddar aa gaya hai”
“I know I know I can see.”
“Stop the car. I’m going to ask the cow for directions”
“Shut up”
“Ask the tullah at least”
“I know where we have to go. You know that juncture before this. We should have taken a left from there”
“I TOLD you too.”
“Yes but you started on withs your stories. I got distracted”
“You’re a shame as a Cantt dweller”
“I live in my own world”
“You should take a cow along with you. To help you”
“I’m going to drop you here and turn. You can walk the rest of the way.”
“I can’t leave you alone. You’ll end up in Gujranwalla”